Automatic Funny - Things You Can Say for Guaranteed Big Laughs
Not everyone is a professional comedian. Luckily, professional comedians provide us with the raw materials we need to be funny in our personal lives. On a date, at a party, during church, we all need that perfect phrase that will help us illicit laughs from our peers. The following is a list of guaranteed crowd-pleasers from the last twenty years. Some have fallen by the wayside, and I think it’s time to bring them back. Others are perennial favorites. So if you need that bon mot that’ll get your board meeting off to a raucous start, this is the place to look.
“Eat my shorts” (1989-1992) — This hilarious phrase, first uttered by the disobedient ‘Bart’ from the hit cartoon The Simpsons is the perfect comeback to your buddy’s biting put-down. I usually use this one on fishing trips or during poker games with my bros. Also popular during this period in history was the confessional “I’m not wearing any underwear” (originator unknown), which definitely lets everyone around you know that your perspective is a little left of center…just like your balls!
“Schwiiing!” (1992-1994) — Hey, a pretty lady just walked by. How do I let my buddies know that I’d enjoy having sex with her? Why, just make a light saber type sound that lets your friends know your boner is…out of its sheath! Thank you Wayne and Garth for giving us the world in this little phrase…the Wayne’s World that is!
“Alllllllll righty then!” (1994) — Ace Ventura Pet Detective…at your service! Jim Carrey gave us the ideal phrase for agreeing with a friend’s crazy idea. Imagine this: You and your friend are out for a Friday night, looking to get into trouble. Your friend says: “This is pretty crazy, but why don’t we go buy some cowboy hats and hit up the country & western bar to try to hook up with some cowgirls?” Just then, you let it rip: “Allllllllllll righty then!” You’ve voiced your agreement AND you’ve had a good laugh, even if you instead to decide to just go to blockbuster and rent a movie instead (Ace Ventura perhaps?).
“Like a Glove!” (1995) — Ace Ventura again, giving you the perfect phrase to utter when something feels just right. ”Hey, Jared, how’s that coffee? Good?” LIKE A GLOVE! Okay, that’s a bad example, but you get the gist! And you can see how Jim Carrey earned the moniker “The Hardest Working Man in Catchphrasing.”
“Muzzer an Daughter are having baby at za same time?!??” (December 1995-April 1996) — Yes, it’s the hilarious Franck Eggelhoffer (Martin Short) from the movie Father of the Bride Part II. This phrase was short-lived and has really fallen off in usage but I think it’s time to bring it back. It’s the perfect thing to say when a mother and daughter are having a baby at the same time.
“Yeaaaaah, Bay-bee!” (1997-2002) It’s cheeky, it’s randy, it’s everything you want in a show-stopping party phrase. Austin Powers had the mojo to dominate catchphrasing for almost five years. During that time an Austin Powers impression was all you needed to get that party rockin’ or maybe get that special someone into bed, where you could then ask them “Do I make you horny, baby, do I?” What makes “Yeaaaaah, Bay-bee!” such a winner? Its simplicity. Two words and a simple memorable inflection say so much…and get SO many laughs!
“I’m Rick James, Bitch!” (2003-2005) Okay, you’re not black but you’ve always admired black comedians like Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and of course Dave Chappelle. How can you capture some of that ‘raw’ humor for yourself and translate it into something useful, like a sale for your company? This instantly recognizable phrase from the hit series The Dave Chappelle Show let’s everyone know YOU DA MAN! Imagine a potential client coming up to you: “Hi, I’m Alan Demming” and you reply “I’m Rick James, Bitch!” That commission check is in the mail.
“It’s Niiiiice! I like!” (2006-2008) Oh, hello Borat! Thanks for coming to my housewarming party. What do you think of my new apartment? ”It’s niiiiiice! I like!” That’s just one example of how you can use this magical phrase to not only have your friends doubled over in laughter, but also make them feel good about themselves. The beauty of “It’s Niiiiiice! I like!” is that it’s a positive message delivered with just enough screwball tomfoolery to get anyone giggling. Even your mother in law! Expect Sasha Baron Cohen to dominate the phrasing field for years to come.
??? 2009 - 2010 - So what’s the amazing break through phrase of TODAY? What’s the new cutting edge meme that’ll put you at the head of the class? Nobody knows. Some say it’s one of the memorable lines from Myers’ The Love Guru, others say Cohen takes the ring with Bruno’s hysterical “waaassup?” Still others point to Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy stating “Milk was a bad choice!” I think that’s too obscure. Only time and the annals of history can decide what the break-thru phrase of this new decade will be, but until then, we can make use of the rich heritage provided for us above.
Alllllllllll righty then! Time to sign off! Until next time, I’m Rick James, Bitch!
