Do You Remember Where You Were?
I don’t think there’s anyone reading this that don’t know exactly where they were standing when they heard the news.
I remember I was down in the stables, giving the horses one last brush down for the night. My family had a horse farm in West Virginia where I grew up. Horses are majestick creatures. They have such large teeth!
I’m brushing the mane of our prize mare, Hazelnut, when Papa comes running in threw the barn doors. He had a shocked and sad look on his face.
“Papa” I says “What is it? What happened? What’s wrong?”
He just looks at me for a second with his face as white as a ghost.
“It’s Weezer” he says “They sold out.”
At first I didn’t want to believe it. I figured he made a mistake. Like maybe Jimmy Eat World had sold out.
But he says follow him and goes running back up to the house and I followed him.
We get to the farmhouse and in the living room the TV is on. It’s Saturday Night Live and Weezer is the musical guest. They’re playing their new single “Hash Pipe.”
Right away I could tell something just didn’t feel right. It was Weezer. They sounded wrong. I listened for a second and tears just started coming out of my eyes. They sounded — and it’s hard for me to type this — they sounded over-produced.
Well I couldn’t breathe and my knees buckled and I crumpled to the floor and I almost blacked out and all the time the thought keeps running through my head “Weezer has sold out!!”
There was a lot of confusion right then and I think Mama came in from the kitchen and said something like “Well, technically didn’t they sell out when they did their first album for a major studio label?”
And I screamed “NO! Rivers Cuomo was still making music on his own terms, Mama! Pinkerton was the antithesis of a major label studio album! And the critics hated it! THEY HATED IT!!!”
In retrospect I might’ve been a little hard on her. Mama was never really into Weezer.
Now that was May 2001 and about four months later some wacko arabs flew two planes into the world trade center towers. And if you’re someone who doesn’t think there is a connection between the two…you are correct.
BUT! Around the time 9-11 happened a lot of folks were looking to me for guidance and shit. And they were surprised by my reaction. Cuz I just shook my head and said “Yeah. Figures.”
They said “Jared, aren’t you scared? Don’t you fear for the future? Haven’t you lost your faith in all kinds of junk?”
And I just looked them in the eye and said “Motherfucker, I lost my faith awhile back.
“My 9-11 happened four months ago” I said “When Weezer sold out.”
