A Simple Blog for Simple Working People
What follows is the employee newsletter that I send out to all employees of JaredLogan.com. My leadership inspires them.
Life doesn’t get any better than this.
A ceiling. Four walls. One room. A small radiator that provides an un-ostentatious amount of heat. One electric lightbulb swinging above you, providing a warm glow with which to read the Approved literature and the pamphlets I’ve assigned you.
I’m so glad I can provide all of these things for you simple working people. Every day I’m thankful I’m able to employ you, because without me, you would have none of this.
It’s good to be thankful. As I sit here in my moon-chair in my mansion on the hill (a mansion that I purchased through back-breaking toil and my own ingenuity at creative mortgage appraisal) I’m reminded of all the things I’m thankful for.
I’m thankful for our lord and savior Jesus Christ (a simple carpenter, who sacrificed his own life for his stockholders — namely, you and me)
I’m thankful for the high nutritional content of Logan’s Own Meal-in-a-Box Employee rations. By the way, that tan cube is pudding! (it’s okay to treat yourself!) (very rarely.)
I’m thankful for the leaders of our military, who keep us safe from people in Asia being un-free.
I’m thankful for the works of Friedrich Nietzsche, who taught me that a man of sufficient intellect is not beholden to the laws of society (don’t look for him in the Employee Compound library. His books are for vice presidents and CEOs only!)
I’m thankful for Moroccan whores, one of the perks of the JaredLogan.com Executive Benefits Package. Remember, the winner of this month’s Unpaid Overtime Competition will receive ten free minutes with my personal concubine Amina.
I’m thankful for guns: my right to carry one and to use it as a discipline tool.
But mostly, I’m thankful for my good little male and female workers. You are what make this company a success. Without you, I wouldn’t have any of this. And without me, you would have nothing.
Always remember.
Well, I imagine you haven’t understood a lot of what you just read here, so as a way of showing thanks, I’ll provide you with a little simple entertainment that I think you might enjoy.
God Bless America
