Aug
30
Lindsay Lohan’s Tears
Don’t we all feel SO SORRY for poor Lindsay Lohan?
She seemed so full of potential. When her father sold her into slavery to Disney at age 12 how could we have known it would end this way?!?
Lindsay Lohan’s tears are so full of sorrow they create a chemical reaction powerful enough to propel an army of tanks and fighter jets. They are this country’s most valuable natural resource. Toyota is working on a hybrid that runs on Lindsay Lohan’s tears.
In other news, Honda is rumored to be working on a hybrid that runs on the disappointment of Dennis Haskins, the guy who played Mr. Belding on Saved by the Bell.
